Another Goodbye

I think I am finally in a mental state where I can try to explain the last two posts without getting tears all over my keyboard. We've said goodbye to another furry family member.

On December 9th, at 5pm, we said our farewells to Anubis.

It all started with what we thought was just another bout of his IBD that flares up sometimes, especially when the seasons are changing and he starts shedding more. We called the vet, they checked him over, and gave him his standard run of meds to help with digestive troubles (as well as some antibiotics for his teeth, since he has some dental disease and at his age they didn't want to risk taking him into surgery). We got some special food he could eat with a syringe, since he has lost some electrolytes and therefore some of his coordination, so he needed a little help with eating.

After several days of TLC he seemed to be doing better, everything was looking up, life started to go back to semi-normal.

But then something when wrong. He stopped eating on his own again. He started acting lethargic. Something didn't feel right, and I thought I felt a lump where there shouldn't be one, so I panicked. I called the vet, then I called James who said he would meet us there. We were worried about his kidneys, since his bloodwork had shown some troubles with that in the past.

The lump turned out to be nothing - just something about the way he was sitting. The vet checked him over, everything seemed good. But then both she and James noticed the skin on his ears looked a little yellow, so we decided to have some bloodwork done again, just to be safe.

His liver was failing.

All of the levels that would indicate liver trouble were through the roof. One of them was so far off the charts, they had to dilute the sample to even get a reading. It had to have happened within the previous day or so. Everything else was good. Everything else, through medication and modification of his diet had brought his other vitals all back within normal ranges - even his kidneys, which I worried my homemade diet might fall short on after he refused to eat the commercially available foods. But there was no way to prevent his liver from giving out. And the vet told us anything they could do to fix it would not in any way be kind to him - hospitalization, tubes in the stomach, and they couldn't even guarantee he'd come out of it alright.

So we were told to take him home for one last night. Spoil him. Love him. Say goodbye. We bought him fried chicken, which he loved, but he didn't get very often because it's not very good for him. He ate a lot of it that night. I wonder if he knew it was his last chance. Or maybe he just thought it would make us happy to see him eat. We gave him his holiday presents early - with lots and lots of catnip. We figured maybe the catnip would ease the pain a little. We hoped he would pass on his own in the night while he was sleeping.

The next morning he was still hanging on, skin an even deeper shade of yellow, still wanting cuddles. Still refusing to go. Every time he started to so much as fall asleep he would jerk himself awake again. And so the time came for his appointment. And even then he tried to hang on. But the injection did its work. We hated having to make that decision, but we hated even more to see him keep on suffering, and it was the last gift we could give him in this lifetime. He isn't hurting anymore.

We buried him in my parents' yard next to Simba. The vet's office gave us an imprint of his paw to keep, which we plan on making a nice shadow box for. I have a painting of him that will end up hanging in James's home office once we get it framed. We're really going to miss him. The house feels so empty without him. But it's going to be a while, we think, before we bring anyone else home. SimbaToo is happy with my parents and though we plan to visit her plenty, we don't want to take her away now that she's bonded with them so well.

I know I'm going to keep thinking I see him for a while. Every time I see a shadow out of the corner of my eye, every time I walk by the places where he slept, I'm going to want him to be there. We haven't been able to bear to put away or even wash up the cat beds yet. Haven't moved his bowls. It feels too soon for that. Maybe eventually, just not now.

And I was wrong. It seems typing this brought the tears all back. But then, the pain never really goes away completely. It just sort of dulls into the background after a while.

They may leave our homes earlier than we would like, but they never leave our hearts.

The Good Kitty

Once upon a time, there was a kitty so good, and so brave, that the Heavens wanted to keep him for their own. But this kitty knew that down on Earth, there was a man he deemed worthy of his love, who would love him just as much in return. And so he left the Heavens to be born in such a place where he knew his man would find him. And find him he did.

But the man was still just a boy, and did not live alone. And so life was not easy from the start, for not everyone was so nice and loving, and the Heavens wept for the good kitty was now on Earth where they could not keep him from pain and strife. The kitty was plagued with fleas, and began life very ill, but the boy took care of him. And when other people shouted and did not-so-nice things to the boy, the kitty was there to comfort him.

And so it went, the good kitty and his boy protecting each other and standing by each other through all of life's trials, until one day when the boy was a man, they left for a better home.

Life was better for the kitty and his man at this new place, and the kitty even met another good kitty who he came to love very much. And not the kitty not only had a Daddy to live with, but a Mommy too. The kitty was very happy for a time, and forgot all about the Heavens and their lack of strife.

Until one day the other good kitty got hurt, and he began to worry. What if the Heavens took her back? What would he do if she was taken away from him? He loved his man, but he also loved the other good kitty. And so when the Heavens took her, he contemplated going to join her. And the Heavens would have welcomed him back with open arms. But it was not to be so. The good kitty decided that his Daddy needed him more, and so he stayed on Earth to wait for the other good kitty to sneak away again, and he was sure that his family would find her.

Every day he grew a little stronger, a little happier until he was okay again. But he was getting older, and the Heavens wanted him back. And so one day they tried to take him. But the kitty said "no, it is not time for me to go yet," and he fought and his Daddy fought with him to help make him well again. And so the Heavens were forced to let go, and wait patiently until it was time.

More than a year they waited, and watched as he grew happy and playful again, with his Daddy and Mommy taking such good care of him that even the doctors were amazed and pleased at how his health had improved. But the Heavens knew something that the good kitty's family did not. Something the good kitty tried to hide. The good kitty's body was failing, and it was starting to hurt.

He tried to hang on, as good kitties often do, but one day his family began to notice, and they were afraid. They loved the good kitty very much and did not want to lose him. And he fought very hard - he wanted to stay, too, you see - and his family on Earth tried to fight to save him. But then the doctor found something that was wrong and could not be fixed. She said that it was time to say goodbye. The good kitty's family was very sad, but they told him he was allowed to rest. But still the good kitty would not rest. He felt that his Daddy, this man he has chosen all for his own, still needed him. And so, in spite of his pain, the good kitty tried to stay. But the good kitty's family knew it was time to go.

They knew the Heavens would welcome him back, for he was good and brave, and very smart. He was the best kitty anyone could ever ask for.

And they also knew that someday that good kitty would sneak away from the Heavens again, and when he did, he would come to find them.

Because good kitties always come home.

We said goodbye today

We said goodbye today
with fried chicken and catnip and some of your favorite things.
We cried some
We cuddled some.
But most of all we told you it was time to rest.

We said goodbye today
and the sun came out for a while, just for you.
There were warm blankets
and calming sounds
and lots and lots of tears.

We said goodbye today
and told you we will always love you.

On Photography and Living in the Moment

Every so often I'll see a post somewhere about how everyone should stop taking photographs when they're out someplace beautiful and just enjoy the scenery. That focusing on taking a picture ruins the experience, keeps you from living in the moment.

Now, that may be true for some people. But it certainly isn't true for me. And it makes me think that perhaps there is a fundamental misunderstanding about how the photographer's mind works.

See, photography isn't just about snapping any old shot, ignoring everything else, and walking away. It's so much more than apertures and shutter speeds and filters. It's about immersing yourself in the moment. It's about feeling such a deep connection to your surroundings that you want to try and capture it so that you and others can go back to it later. It's about framing the shot just right to make it feel like you're really there, whether it's a wide shot to capture the vastness of the scenery, or a macro shot of a flower so close you can almost smell it. It's about waiting for that cloud to pass so that the light will come through the leaves just so, and make everything shine. It's about waiting for a smile, a turn of the head, a certain gleam in the eyes.

It's so much more than just point and shoot. It doesn't matter whether I am working with a phone camera, my SLR, or anything in between. I see something I want to capture. I stop. I frame. I inhale. I focus. I wait, and exhale slowly, then push the shutter button when the timing is right. Sure, now that everything's in digital, I don't have the same restrictions film gave me. I can try that shot again, and again, and again. But each shot is taken with the same care as the last, each one bringing me just a little closer to whatever I'm trying to photograph.

For the photographer, taking a picture is how we live in the moment. And maybe, if we get that perfect shot, we'll be able to live it over and over again, even after our subject has long gone.

Video Update

Not much to report, so instead have a pair of videos I've taken over the past several weeks to fill in as your kitty update.

First, of course, we have Anubis. As you can see he is doing fairly well on his meds. He still has his bad days, but for the most part he seems to be happy.

SimbaToo is also doing well over at my folks' place. From what I am told her nap schedule is increasing to more slots per day, but she is still a maniac in between. She also eats EVERYTHING (to the point that my parents have to be careful not to drop anything on the floor even for a second), and seems to be trying for a bit of a blimp impersonation (she has now been switched to a lower calorie, adult food).

Remembering Simba

So, Amy Shojai's new novel is coming out soon, and once again she is having a character naming contest on her website. For those who don't know, Simba (the original, not the wee munchkin) made it into Amy's first fiction book, Lost and Found. So of course, I've been taking a bit of a trip down memory lane.

The wounds, I think, have closed up as much as they're ever going to now. Naturally, they never close completely. I still sometimes cry over my first dog Jodi, after all, and she's been gone for nearly 15 years. But I can at least look at old photographs now without hurting so much I have to put them away.

Compared to the little nutball who was named after her, she was always so calm and proper. It seems like looks are about the only thing they have in common. Simba was finicky. SimbaToo will eat anything. Simba loved being pet anywhere - belly included. SimbaToo is VERY selective about when and where anybody pets her. Of course, the newbie is only just a year old and not done maturing yet, so she may yet become Simba-ish as she ages. But it's interesting to me that a kitten that reminds me so much of her namesake can have such a vastly different personality.

They both, however, share the same fondness for pillows.

Not that I can ever really compare the two, of course. They are who they are. It's just strange to think about sometimes. Mostly I'm just glad Anubis has learned to get by.

Short video update

Not much to report on the kitty front, so today it's just a video update on the elusive SimbaToo, who is difficult to capture in still photographs due to always being on the move.

Switched at birth

Simba 2 in her "sleeping bag" (photo courtesy of my mother)

Judging by the information provided by my parents (who still have temporary custody), and by my own observations, I have now determined that it is entirely possible that Simba 2 is not, in fact, a cat. I think perhaps the humane society gave me a ferret in disguise by accident.

She has very specific toys that she hoards. She makes her own sleeping spaces by burrowing into any dark place she can find. She snarfs anything of interest. Pets behind the shoulders will result in chomps. She does the ferret-slink along the floor when she wants to play. Now I am told she does not know that sun spots are for sleeping in, and instead she plays with the shadows created by them.

This theory is further supported by the fact that she thinks my sister is the most awesome person in the universe, presumably because she knows how to play like a ferret.

More on this development as it arises. I think perhaps I must test her for love of shinies (though her namesake was fond of them too).

In the meantime, here is a brief video of this elusive creature who is proving difficult to capture on film:

Overdue updates

Back to being man of the house.

It seems I've been a little slack in keeping up with kitty posts. I've been a bit busy taking care of Anubis among other things. Simba 2 (also known as "Peanut" or "Munchkin" or "Stop That") is now staying with my parents indefinitely (her "foster parents" as my mom says) due to a need to focus more heavily on her big brother's care. He was starting to play with her a bit, but then he had a nasty hairball that led to some bleeding and loss of appetite, and in the intervening time he stopped having the energy to fight her off. She is too young and rambunctious to understand she can hurt him, and he was getting so fearful that he wouldn't even go to his food bowls, so my folks agreed to give her a place with them until such time as we are able to take her in again. Thankfully she is bonding quite well with my parents (and seems to love my dad).

Anubis has now been diagnosed with hypertension and hyperthyroidism, for which he is on medication. He has had a few bouts with IBS that seem to be calming down, so the vet has us dropping his steroid dosage to see if we can cut him back to only taking those when he is having a flare-up. He is, finally, gaining weight back and starting to act more energetic again, though his special dietary needs mean that he has to have his wet foods available to him at all times. His regular Adequan shots help with his arthritis, but not enough that he can handle a playful kitten, so it looks like the arrangement remains in place until... until. Which hopefully won't be for a good long time.

In the meantime the munchkin has a new favorite toy in her pink string my mom gave to her, which she carries around the house like a security blanket. I am told my dad hid it under a paper bag once, and she ended up searching for hours. Once she found it, the bag was destroyed for its impertinence. She still has a few quirks, a few of which are concerning - I am considering having her taken in for belly x-rays because she is sensitive from the shoulders back, and according to my dad she is still very gassy which seems odd as she is now over 6 months old and has been on the same food for quite some time. Thankfully if she needs pills it shouldn't be difficult to give them to her - she eats just about anything that gets dropped on the floor unless you run to pick it up before she can reach it.

So all in all the furkids are doing alright. I will have to do a bit better at providing updates.

Introductions

Hi! My name is Simba No. Some people call me Nala instead. I is a kitten, and I is very cute. I has a new house I got a couple weeks ago and it's pretty neat. I has a big brother, and a mommy and a daddy, and LOTS of toys. There's lots of rules I gots to learn but mommy says I is doing a pretty good job of learning them, I just gets distracted because I is still a baby.

I has sort of figured out that night times are for sleepings, but sometimes the bed still looks reeeeeeally fun to play on so mommy has to wear me out real good before bedtime.

I is losing my baby teeths now so I is chewing on stuff and sometimes trying to eat stuffs I shouldn't, but mommy and daddy are trying to teach me what isn't okay to eat so I can grow out of that. Mommy had to put some bitter icky stuff on one of my wand toys to I won't chew it, because I bit a whole piece off it this morning. Mommy also got me some teething toys to help, and I like to bite them a lot so mommy tries to throw me those every time I chew on things I shouldn't, so I think I is supposed to chew on those toys instead. She says she wishes she could find me more of them so I could have lots all over the house so any time I want to chew, there will be an okay thing to chew right there for me.

I is starting to learn that a cord is not a string, and I think I is not supposed to bite those so I tries not to, but sometimes I sniffs them pretty hard and I still has to be told no. I think mommy just put some of that bitter icky stuff on the cords too so maybe now I will remember.

My big brother is really nice. He was mad at me when I first got here and I don't know why, but now I know to listen when he doesn't want to play, and not to steal his special foods. Daddy says he needs it so I tries to remember to leave it alone. I still sometimes forgets because it smells really good, but I is learning. But I think my big brother likes me now. Here we are in the window:

He doesn't play back yet, and he doesn't want to cuddle with me, but he likes to watch me play so I think for now that's okay.

New baby, day 2

Last night went about as well as can be expected. We had to teach the new brat that the "kitty crazies" are not appropriate on the bed. She got dumped off said bed maybe half a dozen times before she finally seemed to decide maybe we didn't want her attacking everything in sight. Then she curled up and slept through the night.

Today I left the house for a bit this morning, and my other half thought I had taken the kitten with me - I hadn't. So she didn't fuss at all while I was away. I came back to both cats nose to nose again, no hissing. Played with her some more, and Anubis started to watch with interest, and even ran past with his "monkey tail" once. He only curls his tail in that specific manner when he is playing. So we're making very fast progress, and I think they're going to do just fine tomorrow while we're both out out of the house (I have work, he has some errands to run).

So now it's just a matter of teaching her house rules, and calming my own anxiety. I'm one of those people who has issues with change, to the effect that my brain reads any new thing in the house as "scary", so it takes me some time to get used to a new furball. I did the same thing when Simba moved in years ago, so I know it will be okay, but that part of my brain refuses to listen to logic. Maybe it's part of why I understand animals so well. I know what throws them off, because the same things often bug me too.

My mother has dubbed the kitten "Nala", since she looks (and acts) a great deal like Simba. My sister suggested "Kiara" which I liked as well, but my other half put in his vote for Nala, so Nala she is.

Nala is starting to learn to entertain herself a bit, has discovered the "racetrack" (hallway) and has started to use it. She is figuring out what are toys, where she shouldn't go - though she does get curious about places if you are standing next to them. But hopefully this means she will wear herself out some while everyone's away at work, instead of sleeping all day and turning into a maniac at night. If Anubis decides to start playing with her a little too, that will help.

New baby, first evening

We have hit evening of day one.

Though there is still some hissing going on, the kitten is doing a very good job of listening when Anubis warns her off. And he is doing a very good job of allowing her some shared space. She may not go to his chicken bowl, she may NOT sit on his spot on the cedar chest (hoo boy did he not like that), but the regular food bowl in the kitchen, he not only let her eat from, he snuck around the corner to sniff at her tail like he used to with Simba when they were first getting to know one another.

On that note, I am seriously thinking of taking my grandparents suggestion (made in separate conversations no less) to just dub her Simba 2. I've slipped into calling her Simba anyway, and it feels right. They say cats have 9 lives anyway, so who knows?

She's curled up on the couch now, purring away. She seems to be trying to sit in places where she smells that other kitties have sat before. I couldn't figure out why she was insistent on being allowed on James's nightstand, until he told me Anubis has been sitting on it (even when told not to - whoops) so - she smells kitty there, therefore she assumes it's okay to sit there. That also explains why she refused to be deterred from sitting on Gram's table tonight (I ended up having to distract her with string).

Gram discovered she likes plain old yarn (she snubbed the other string-y things I tried to offer her). And it seems those crinkly sparkle balls she also likes - the ones made of cellophane.

Hopefully she and Anubis can get their differences worked out here soon. If Monday rolls around and we're still not sure of it, we're just going to have to clear out one of the bathrooms enough to let her plop in there with a litter box and some food and water since we'll both be out of the house. But if things progress as quickly as they have thus far, they may actually be fine that soon.

Introducing cats, 2014 edition

Anubis has been getting lonely lately, and since I posted about Jellybean, it's no secret that I have been thinking about bringing home a kitten. So a few weeks ago, I started looked at the local humane society to try and find a kitten. lots of sweeties came and went, but none of them seemed to be my cat. They just didn't have that special something, and sometimes the ones that did were a bit too wild to bring home to Anubis.

But today I found someone. She... looks a lot like Simba actually. I don't know what we're going to call her yet.

Anubis seems to have mixed feelings. When we brought her in and opened the carrier (she comes with all her shots and tested negative for all the nasties so no worries there) they touched noses right away, nobody hissed. Until several minutes later when she had explored the house and decided she wanted to play with that other kitty.

Sound familiar?

Yup. This is pretty much the same situation we dealt with when Anubis first moved in, except now he's on the receiving end as the one who is not sure he wants to play.

Go figure.

There was one other worrying development, though. He started hissing at me. That was a bit concerning, as that indicated to us a much higher level of stress. So we agreed the kitten would not be left alone with him for at least the first 24 hours (I am taking her to visit my folks tonight so she's not left in the house - there's no really good place to shut her away, and closed doors will upset Anubis MORE).

Since then, however, he does seem to be calming down somewhat. he saw us tell her "no" a couple of times as we are trying to teach her where she can and cannot jump (much like Simba, it looks like she responds very well and doesn't push the issue if she finds out you don't want her somewhere - she has yet to try to jump into the bathtub again). So he sees now that we are starting to enforce the same rules on her that we do on him. That will help a lot, I think.

He has also used the litterbox since then. I think this accomplished two things. First, it probably made his tummy feel better (he's been swallowing his hair a lot lately and isn't always so cooperative for brushing sessions so we don't get him brushed out as well as we'd like, since they have to stay short). Second, there is now a big stinky I LIVE HERE sign. He seems to be MUCH calmer now, is letting me pet him again already, and even came up to sit by me on the couch. Of course, the munchkin is also asleep right now, so that may have something to do with it. But the litterbox he used is the one in the room she's sleeping in right now, so I'm pretty sure he knows she's still here.

I have opted to leave that poop right where it is for the time being, since it seems to calm him to know he's got a nice big territory marker.

RIP Jellybean

You life was too short, baby.

In spite of all attempts at treatment, it seems the URI won. All the cats had it this winter, it was a bad one. The cats and kittens were all on antibiotics, had ointment for their eyes, and had started to regain their appetites for a little while, but then they took a turn for the worse again.

None of the kittens made it.

The life of a barn kitty is rough. Worse still when they're born in winter when the weather has been horrible on pretty much every critter out there (and the barn where they lived was even heated, so they didn't get the worst of it, but it still had an effect). Had we taken her sooner, though, she wouldn't have been ready to leave mama cat yet.

Mama cat was a lot less chipper today than I've seen her every other time we've visited. She was totally devoted to those babies. Now she's lost them.

Kitten update

Just a few more weeks before we will be able to bring the Jellybean home. She's got to have a bit of cleanup done. She has what my mother refers to as "barn kitty eyes" - most barn kittens I've known have had it in one form or another. Usually it seems to clear up once we can get them some flea medicine, but then it may just correlate with getting them away from the standard barn dust and whatnot. It has also been a rough winter, so all the kitties are looking a bit more ragged than usual, even though the barn is heated. Ideally, we will pick her up the same day we're headed to the vet and get all that out of the way before she ever enters the house. As it stands, we have been washing hands and clothing every time we've been to see her, just in case.

Now we get to make sure Anubis is up to date on his shots, get a quarantine room ready, and figure out where we're getting Jellybean's shots and exam done (more than likely she will be taken to the humane society as they do the full testing without charging too much - assuming their vaccination clinic is open again by then).

On the upside, in spite of the eye problems, she does seem interested in playing:

Jellybean

"I found you. That means you are mine now, right?"

 So... we might be bringing home a kitten.

Yeah.

There was a winter litter at my aunt's dairy barn just down the road from us, and the runt of the litter has done a pretty good job of getting her wee little claws hooked into my heart. (I say her, but it's only a guess - it's still a little early to be sure, they are all quite tiny still, she just looks less "obvious male" than the other black kitten.)

So far, the kitten has been dubbed Jellybean, because they all looked like wee furry jellybeans when we first walked into the barn and saw them, and it sort of stuck.

Getting ready to climb momma cat to get to me.

We got a few photos today, though not very good ones as it's raining and the barn was pretty dark. Plus the little fuzz-nugget wouldn't stop moving long enough for me to focus my camera (there is video too but my other half has to process that for me - my computer doesn't have enough memory to edit high-def video and he needs to convert the file before we can upload). But today as soon as we walked in, once our little furball heard both our voices she abandoned her lunch and started bawling at us.

We didn't stay long because my aunt was busy and it's rainy and cold today (there's a furnace in the barn but still, I didn't want to keep baby away from warm mama cat for long). But I did get at least those photos before this idiot decided to photobomb:

"What is that in your hand? That hand should be petting me."

He then proceeded to climb all over me and that sort of killed the photoshoot. (Yes, we are aware his eyes need a bit of help - my aunt has some ointment from the vet, the barn kitties have been having a rough winter with all this crazy weather. Most of it's just kitty head colds.)

But we're keeping an eye on the jellybean for now, taking some time to come to a final decision. Momma's running out of milk already, and my cousin says she's already teaching the kittens how to eat regular food, so it may not be much longer, but we want to make sure momma cat has time to teach them what they need to know before we take anybody home.

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder - Or: Why I will no longer buy dragon scale bettas

Say hello to Lo Pan. (No, he has no green-eyed bride.)

In addition to my furry friends, I am also fond of fishkeeping (try saying that one three times fast). Fish were the only thing I could have in college, and with the small space, naturally bettas were my first love. I've had several bettas over the years, most of them outliving their standard life expectancy (they usually only live around five years, and most bettas you buy in the store are already at least a year or two old, as it takes a while for their full finnage to grow out, so they look more impressive once they are past breeding age). Our most recent loss, Lucius, was with us for at least six years.

My current betta, Lo Pan, is what is known as a "dragon" or "dragon scale" betta. Dragon scale bettas are characterized by thicker, more noticeable scales, which usually have a very metallic sheen. Lo Pan was the first of this type I was really drawn to - most of them are not really "my type" when it comes to looks, but this guy just had a little something extra.

Still the same fish. Every angle of the light changes his color.

It wasn't until I got him home that I noticed anything wrong.

First was that his gills cannot flare all the way. One way I check the health of my bettas is to hold up a mirror to encourage them to flare in a typical territorial display. This way I can see their fins fully. They also bring their gills forward and fan them out to make themselves look larger. (Just a note, you should do this sparingly as it does get them riled and that's not healthy if they're doing it too often.) Lo Pan, I noticed, could not properly fan his gills out. He tries, but they snap back very quickly. I am not certain if this affects his breathing - it has been a bit difficult finding much information about this, but scales growing over the gills seems to be noted by some as a common condition in dragon scale bettas.

I also noticed, once I got him into better light, that there was a scale growing over one eye. I asked about it online, and was told by another betta enthusiast that this is known as "diamond eye" and is also very common in dragon bettas. I was also told this usually becomes more prominent as the fish gets older, and most will eventually go blind, if they are not already.

You can see the scale over his eye very clearly in this photo.

Today as I looked at him, he tried to flare at me again - the issue with his gills seems worse than before.

This seems problematic to me. As beautiful as Lo Pan is, I do not wish to encourage the breeding of unhealthy fish. So he will be my last dragon scale, unless I can find evidence that there are breeders that have found a way to eliminate this problem while still keeping the beautiful scale pattern.

I can't stop others from buying them, but I can stop buying them myself. Not that I will judge people for buying these fish from stores since they are already there - I know plenty of people who prefer to "rescue" fish like this to make sure that the person who takes them home can at least give them a good life. But as for me, much like my decision not to buy fish from certain chain stores, I do not wish to encourage the practice to continue. It hurts my heart to leave them there, but it has to stop somewhere.

If anyone has more information on these issues, feel free to send links. I would like to learn more.

For those who have a betta who is already going blind, I can offer some suggestions that others have sent me: bettas can also smell their food, so if you are using pellets, you can dip them in chicken broth or (so I am told) even a little bit of garlic oil so they can find their food more easily.

Almost-spring updates

The first signs of proper greenery for the year.

Well, it's certainly been a while since I posted anything, so I suppose I'm a bit overdue for some updates.

This winter has been a rough one on everybody, and the furry kids are no exception. Our Anubis has been dealing with a lot of aches and pains this winter, so I got him a nice heated bed to try and help tame them down somewhat.

I think we can call this one a success.

He likes it so much, he spends almost all his time in it anymore. In addition to the heated bed, we also started Adequan treatments earlier this year, which have been a HUGE help. Adequan is a joint supplement that is labeled for use in dogs, and used off-label in cats. It's what Simba was put in after her injury that gave her such a miraculous recovery from her joint problems before other complications took her down. Anubis showed just as miraculous a change even after the first dose. He's through his four week course now, and the vet said he shouldn't need another dose for about 6 months or so. He's playing again, something he hadn't really been doing all winter. He's behaving on his bad-joint days like he was on the good days before. We also started setting his food up on blocks so he doesn't have to crouch down to eat. He definitely seems to like that better than all his bowls being on the ground.

Thanks to one of the Hill's Pet giveaways he also now has a Drinkwell, which he LOVES.

Pardon the offering to the floor gods. About half of his food goes on the carpet.

Of course, now that spring is around the corner, there are other thoughts on my mind. One of which is kittens. We made a promise to ourselves (and to Mr. Fuzzy) that we would start the search for another cat in the spring. He misses having a buddy, and, well, I miss having a purr pillow of my own (Anubis is James's cat, though he is happy for snuggles from me too, it's not the same). We figure a kitten will warm up to him quicker and therefore make it a little less stressful on everybody, since he was the accepting one in the equation before. Hopefully we can find somebody compatible, both with Anubis and with me. It's a big step forward, but one I think I need to take.

Empty spaces

The arm of the couch was always her spot.

I reached for her again. First time in months.

Sometimes I will still see a little movement out of the corner of my eye, and my brain tricks me into thinking there's a cat-shaped something there. But usually I catch myself and it passes before it jerks me by the heart. But the arm of the couch... that was her spot. I didn't catch myself this time until I had already reached back to pet her.

Anubis still looks for her sometimes, too. But at least now we can say her name in the house without him getting upset. He is eating normally again for the most part - from his regular bowls too. Though he is showing signs of age that we never saw before he went through the stress of losing Simba.

I still have trouble looking at the photos sometimes, though. And I haven't been able to sit through any of the videos.

Some critters just claw their way into our hearts a little deeper than others. We don't always know how or why, only that we're lost without them.

Nobody sits in that spot now. It was hers and hers alone. Anubis will not sit there, though he has taken to sleeping in her old bed. The arm of the couch remains claimed and empty.

Cat Burglar

More fun with fiction - this time one written for a friend.

Her humans had been gone for an unusually long time. Fall had thought it strange when there were bags and soft boxes she wasn't allowed to lie in being filled with clothes. But the humans had left the house just like normal, at the usual time of day, with the usual good-bye and assurance that they would return.

But they hadn't returned. It was getting dark out... they were normally home by now. It was almost dinner time, and they weren't home to feed her. Well, she thought with a flick of her tail, if they weren't going to feed her on time, she was just going to go have a nice nap on that pillow she wasn't supposed to get fur all over. Just as she was turning to wander off to the bedroom, she heard the sound of someone at the door. Aha! They were home. She began to meow with impatience, scolding them for being late, but when the door opened, she froze.

That was NOT her human.

The stranger reached out to pet the cat, and she immediately fled beneath a chair. It was not her human, but they were in her house. There were only two possible reasons for this. Either her humans had abandoned her (ridiculous!) or this was a burglar.

Fall had heard of cat-burglars before, and rather thought it was rude to go and burgle someone else's cat - whatever burgling was. But she had never expected to see one in her house. As the burglar moved toward the kitchen, Fall followed, crouched low and padding quietly. She peered around the corner in time to see the burglar rummaging in the cabinets - the cabinets with her food in it! The nerve! She watched as the burglar picked up her bowl. This was too much. Bad enough that this stranger was intruding on her house, but now they were touching her FOOD. She had to take action.

Trying to look braver than she really was, Fall puffed out her fur and leaped toward the stranger, yowling madly. The human caught her by the scruff before her claws had a chance to stick in, pulling her gently away.

"No. Bad kitty!"

Oho! So this was what cat-burglars did, was it? They go into other people's houses and tell their cats what to do, did they? This was an outrage! This was hideous! This was-

Fall forgot quite suddenly what it was exactly as the food bowl was placed back on the floor, totally full. She stared, confused, as the burglar refilled the water bowl too, then left the kitchen and headed toward the litter box. Weren't cat-burglars supposed to be a bad thing? So why was the burglar feeding her and cleaning her litter box? That didn't seem so bad...

The stranger washed her hands, dried them, and went to the door. "I'll be back in the morning."

And then she was gone.

Perplexed, Fall went to sniff her food bowl. It smelled alright... just like normal. She took a few bites. Tasted normal too. Finally she settled herself down to eat. Whatever this was, she supposed she would allow it. For now.

The cat-burglar kept coming back over the next several days, until at last Fall's own humans returned. She yowled and scolded and tried to tell them all about the burglar, but they simply petted her and snuggled her and simply would not listen to reason.

She supposed she would have to chalk it up to the fact that humans were simply very strange animals.