Wednesday, December 11, 2013

Empty spaces

The arm of the couch was always her spot.


I reached for her again. First time in months.

Sometimes I will still see a little movement out of the corner of my eye, and my brain tricks me into thinking there's a cat-shaped something there. But usually I catch myself and it passes before it jerks me by the heart. But the arm of the couch... that was her spot. I didn't catch myself this time until I had already reached back to pet her.

Anubis still looks for her sometimes, too. But at least now we can say her name in the house without him getting upset. He is eating normally again for the most part - from his regular bowls too. Though he is showing signs of age that we never saw before he went through the stress of losing Simba.

I still have trouble looking at the photos sometimes, though. And I haven't been able to sit through any of the videos.

Some critters just claw their way into our hearts a little deeper than others. We don't always know how or why, only that we're lost without them.

Nobody sits in that spot now. It was hers and hers alone. Anubis will not sit there, though he has taken to sleeping in her old bed. The arm of the couch remains claimed and empty.