Friday, October 10, 2008

Good night. I love you. I'll see you in the morning.

It's strange, what you think of in the dead of night when your brain is tired and just doesn't want to think anymore. When you think you're utterly sapped out and just need to drift off, but there's that one last thing floating in your mind.

This entry is a long time in coming. It's quite often over the past few years that I've pondered this very thing in the middle of the night, but never once did I post it.

Until now.

There are all too many things we take for granted in life. Doesn't matter how old we are. But it seems in childhood is when it happens the most. All too soon we want to grow up. Then when we do, we realize what we've lost. Or, at least, that's how it goes for those of us whose childhoods were, well, the way a childhood should be. But one thing I find myself missing is small, simple... just the utterance of three short phrases:

"Good night.
I love you.
I'll see you in the morning."

Every night for nearly 18 years (excluding, I suppose, when I was a baby since I wouldn't have understanded the words then), this was the last thing I heard before going to sleep. It's one of those little things you never realize you care about so much until you miss it.

"Good night" I'm sure we all keep hearing now and then. It's fairly common. That one we'll say to pretty much anyone as an evening "goodbye".

"I love you"... now there's something we hear less often. Even rarer if the person saying it well and truly means it. I suppose there must be those in the world who go their entire lives without hearing it. And for that, those of us who have heard it, I guess, ought to be grateful. Especially those of us who have heard it said and truly meant by someone outside our own family.

"I'll see you in the morning." Strange, isn't it, how that phrase is heard even less often than the other two. After we no longer get tucked in by our parents, it seems to go away entirely. There's plenty of "I'll see you tomorrow", but no "I'll see you in the morning."

Somehow, combined, the three phrases seem somehow more powerful. That strange comforting effect, perhaps just because it reminds us of a simpler time when we had fewer worries, when we were more sure of our place in the world.

Lately, at last, I have two of these phrases becoming more common in my life. "Good night" and "I love you." The latter, it seems, we went so long without saying, for whatever reason. But either way, it's nice to hear it again, and nice to hear it combined with a "good night".

Hearing all three together, I suppose, may never happen again. It's sort of limited, somehow, to tucking someone in. You have to say goodnight, leave them, and then expect to see them as soon as they wake up. I mean, I know some couples have taken to sleeping in separate bedrooms, but I rather find the practice somewhat silly myself. So your therapist told you the bedroom should only be for sleep and nothing else. Do people not like cuddling with their significant other in their sleep? Seems odd to me.

But it's strange, how much I miss that little triad sometimes.

But two out of three ain't bad.

1 comment:

  1. My daughter Robin wrote a poem about this same topic when she was in high school. She died very suddenly this year. She was in her fourth year of university. Her poem was read at her funeral. It refers to exactly what you have written about. Good night now refers to her leaving us, I love you is self explanatory and "I'll see you in the morning" refers to eternity. Your post was written on October 10th, that is the date of her birthday. It was nice to read similar thoughts on this topic.

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